What Do You Do When You Don't Reach Your Goal?

Last year, we talked about steps you could take to keep your New Year's resolutions beyond January.

Some of you had goals related to your academic and professional development, and the past year didn't pan out like you had hoped it would.

College could be an eye-opener for many students because this is when they realize that their long-term goals might not come to fruition.

When I was a freshman in college, one of my friends was planning to do a pre-med track in biology.  Initially, she came across some difficulties in her classes, but she didn't let them faze her.

After many introductory courses in her major, it became apparent that no amount of extra guidance from professors, teaching assistants, academic advisors, or tutoring services was going to adequately prepare her for a medical career.  A couple semesters into college, she realized that her GPA would not make her competitive enough to pursue medical school.

Upon this realization, she changed her major--several times--as many undergraduates do.  After a few years in the workforce, she went to graduate school and settled into a career in education.

I bring up my friend as an example because she shows that life goes on after your Plan A, Plan B, or Plan C doesn't work out.  While my friend felt discouraged and disillusioned that she would not become a doctor, at least she was satisfied to know that she did her due diligence in attempting to attain her career goal.

At the end of the day, you can be content to know that you did your due diligence--even if you did not reach your goal.

If you're like me, you developed a goal for 2014 that was SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-bound).  My goal was to obtain a full-time job with benefits in education.  Nine months into the year, I found one.  If I had not gotten that job, I was ready to move back home and re-evaluate my options from there.  Fortunately, I didn't have to do that.

Some of you didn't have the satisfaction of reaching your goal for 2014.  Like my college friend, you did your due diligence, but you still did not achieve it.  As the year comes to a close,  you might be wondering, "What do I do next? ... What did I do wrong? ... Do I give it another shot?"

If you're asking these types of questions, I encourage you to do the following: 

1. Take a break.  Depending on how hard you've been striving to reach your goal, the length of this break may be one day, one week, or longer.  Simply take time to empty your mind of your anxious questions, concerns, and potential solutions.  Again, this isn't a long-term solution.  It's meant to be a short-term period in which you could rest, relax, and refuel yourself so that you can return to revising your goals with a good head on your shoulders.  It's like the mental version of a juice cleanse!
2. Start a journal.  If you haven't already, start writing your thoughts and emotions down as you try to determine your next steps.  While it is useful to talk to a good friend or family member, we all need time to be alone with our thoughts and see them in writing.  Since your journal is only for yourself, you likely will feel less pressure to "say the right thing" as you might in the presence of a friend or family member--including the ones that are really close to you.  Take advantage of alone time to reflect.
3. Go to a counselor.  Some of you might be satisfied with discussing your problems with friends, family, or mentors.  Others of you might feel so overwhelmed or burnt out that you might consider professional counseling.  If you're a student, you should look into your university's counseling center.  Sometimes students are reluctant to go to their school's counseling center because they have confidentiality concerns.  The good news is that universities typically have a confidentiality policy so information about your appointments won't be disclosed to others without your consent.  Schools such as the University of Illinois outline their counseling center's confidentiality policies, which comply with state and federal laws as well as professional ethical codes.  Reach out to your school's counseling center to find out what its policy is.  This will put you at ease as you seek guidance from a counselor.  If you're wondering how to approach appointments, review the advice that Harvard University Health Services provides on getting the most of your counseling sessions.  While a counseling session is safe outlet for venting, you ultimately want to make sure that you seek clarity with respect to your goals.

These three pieces of advice might not be the only things you have to do.  However, they are strong starting points for anyone in need of hitting the refresh button.  By beginning here, you will give yourself a better shot at your goals, both old and new, in 2015. 

How about you?  What are you hoping to achieve in 2015?  What steps will you take to make your goal possible?                           

Take Care of Yourself, Take Care of Everything Else

Some of you may be wondering why I haven't been in the blogosphere for a few weeks.  Here is why:

I got sick.  My roommate got sick.  Then after a couple weeks, my roommate got sick again, and it was worse the second time around.

My apartment has been a "germfest" for the past few weeks.  Between that, work, and other responsibilities, blogging fell to the bottom or my priority list.

While that might not be the best excuse to some, that is the realest reason I could give you.

One of my New Year's resolutions was to practice more self-care, and I'm trying to stick to it.  This is difficult for many, especially me since I grew up in a household where I was encouraged to work through illness.

Bob Costas is another example of this.  After trying to cover the Olympics despite an eye infection, Bob Costas and his red eyes are getting replaced by Matt Lauer.

Let Bob be a reminder to you that nobody likes a sick person at work.  People would rather have you quarantine yourself at home than spread your cold, flu, or whatever it is to the rest of the workplace or classroom.

College life can get so hectic with classes, homework, extracurricular activities, jobs, and other responsibilities outside of school.

DON'T USE BUSYNESS AS AN EXCUSE TO NEGLECT YOURSELF.  Here are some starting points for taking care of yourself:

1. Use your college's health center:  When I started college, I knew that I could make a doctor's appointment at my school's health center.  I also knew that I could get prescriptions filled at its pharmacy.  It was not until later that I became aware of the center's satellite offices that offered "cold kits" and other items for urgent care.  It also was not until later that I found out about the Dial-A-Nurse line that I could call 24 hours a day in case I wasn't sure how badly I needed to see a healthcare professional in person.  Many colleges' health centers offer a similar hotline for urgent care.  Be sure to save your school's hotline on your cell.  Also go online to the health center's website to see what other services it offers.  You might not ever need these services, but it is wise to know what is available to you and your friends regardless.
2. Minimize the risk of spreading sickness:  If you're really sick, don't try to be a hero by attending every class, social event, or work meeting.  Assess if these things are that essential to attend.  When I supervised student workers, some would try to tough it out and come to the office anyway.  When they were really ill, I didn't hesitate to send them home.  Not only was I concerned about their health, I was concerned about the health of myself and others working in the close quarters of our office.  Chances are your professors, work supervisors, and classmates will have the same concerns if you try to work through sickness. 
3. Practice healthier habits even if you're already healthy:  When I'm sick, I tend to be the most cognizant of eating well and sleeping a lot because, well … I have no choice.  Even if you aren't sick, find ways to maximize your wellness.  Rutgers University offers online 101 Health and Wellness Tips for College Students.  Your college probably offers a similar health guide for students.  Take a look at this Rutgers guide or the one offered by your school.  The Rutgers guide has eight categories:  Diet, Exercise, Sleep, Sexual Health, Illness, Stress, Mental Health, and Miscellaneous.  Survey each section and ask yourself how well you are really doing in each one.  Make adjustments to your daily routine where necessary.  While you may not see the results overnight, you will feel the difference in the long term.  Who knows.  You might get sick less.

I typically give you advice on how to be successful in your college, career, and community.  This usually entails tips related to your academics, professional development, and civic engagement.  In the midst of it all, you can't afford to neglect your personal health.  After all, if you find success but lose your health, what good is your success?

Is there anything else you would add to this list?  Comment to let me know if there's anything I missed!