What Do You Do When You Don't Reach Your Goal?

Last year, we talked about steps you could take to keep your New Year's resolutions beyond January.

Some of you had goals related to your academic and professional development, and the past year didn't pan out like you had hoped it would.

College could be an eye-opener for many students because this is when they realize that their long-term goals might not come to fruition.

When I was a freshman in college, one of my friends was planning to do a pre-med track in biology.  Initially, she came across some difficulties in her classes, but she didn't let them faze her.

After many introductory courses in her major, it became apparent that no amount of extra guidance from professors, teaching assistants, academic advisors, or tutoring services was going to adequately prepare her for a medical career.  A couple semesters into college, she realized that her GPA would not make her competitive enough to pursue medical school.

Upon this realization, she changed her major--several times--as many undergraduates do.  After a few years in the workforce, she went to graduate school and settled into a career in education.

I bring up my friend as an example because she shows that life goes on after your Plan A, Plan B, or Plan C doesn't work out.  While my friend felt discouraged and disillusioned that she would not become a doctor, at least she was satisfied to know that she did her due diligence in attempting to attain her career goal.

At the end of the day, you can be content to know that you did your due diligence--even if you did not reach your goal.

If you're like me, you developed a goal for 2014 that was SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-bound).  My goal was to obtain a full-time job with benefits in education.  Nine months into the year, I found one.  If I had not gotten that job, I was ready to move back home and re-evaluate my options from there.  Fortunately, I didn't have to do that.

Some of you didn't have the satisfaction of reaching your goal for 2014.  Like my college friend, you did your due diligence, but you still did not achieve it.  As the year comes to a close,  you might be wondering, "What do I do next? ... What did I do wrong? ... Do I give it another shot?"

If you're asking these types of questions, I encourage you to do the following: 

1. Take a break.  Depending on how hard you've been striving to reach your goal, the length of this break may be one day, one week, or longer.  Simply take time to empty your mind of your anxious questions, concerns, and potential solutions.  Again, this isn't a long-term solution.  It's meant to be a short-term period in which you could rest, relax, and refuel yourself so that you can return to revising your goals with a good head on your shoulders.  It's like the mental version of a juice cleanse!
2. Start a journal.  If you haven't already, start writing your thoughts and emotions down as you try to determine your next steps.  While it is useful to talk to a good friend or family member, we all need time to be alone with our thoughts and see them in writing.  Since your journal is only for yourself, you likely will feel less pressure to "say the right thing" as you might in the presence of a friend or family member--including the ones that are really close to you.  Take advantage of alone time to reflect.
3. Go to a counselor.  Some of you might be satisfied with discussing your problems with friends, family, or mentors.  Others of you might feel so overwhelmed or burnt out that you might consider professional counseling.  If you're a student, you should look into your university's counseling center.  Sometimes students are reluctant to go to their school's counseling center because they have confidentiality concerns.  The good news is that universities typically have a confidentiality policy so information about your appointments won't be disclosed to others without your consent.  Schools such as the University of Illinois outline their counseling center's confidentiality policies, which comply with state and federal laws as well as professional ethical codes.  Reach out to your school's counseling center to find out what its policy is.  This will put you at ease as you seek guidance from a counselor.  If you're wondering how to approach appointments, review the advice that Harvard University Health Services provides on getting the most of your counseling sessions.  While a counseling session is safe outlet for venting, you ultimately want to make sure that you seek clarity with respect to your goals.

These three pieces of advice might not be the only things you have to do.  However, they are strong starting points for anyone in need of hitting the refresh button.  By beginning here, you will give yourself a better shot at your goals, both old and new, in 2015. 

How about you?  What are you hoping to achieve in 2015?  What steps will you take to make your goal possible?                           

Keep Your New Year's Resolutions Beyond January

With the New Year around the corner, it's inevitable that you or someone else in your life is putting together a list of resolutions.

As tempting as it is for me to give you a list like "Five New Year's Resolutions for College Students," I won't bother.  Resolutions don't work if they are too vague.  For instance, my friends and I were having dinner a couple nights ago.  One of them said her resolution was to go to the gym more.  Given that she didn't keep track of her gym habits for 2013, it would be hard to say if she actually met this goal for 2014.  "Going to the gym more" could be 30 or 300 times per year for all she knows.

Regardless of what resolutions you make, you are more likely to reach them if you do the following:

1. REFLECT.  Before you set your list of resolutions in stone, you should make sure you thoroughly reflect on the past year.  What were your resolutions for 2013?  Did you reach your goals?  Did you consistently follow your plan throughout the last 12 months?  If not, what threw you off?  These questions should inform how you move forward with 2014. 
2. BRAINSTORM.  After you reflect on what worked in the Old Year, brainstorm what you want in the New Year.  Think of every part of your life to make sure this list is well-rounded:  friends, family, classes, jobs and internships, extracurriculars, hobbies, etc.  List every possible resolution you could have without second-guessing it.  Worry about editing another time.
3. PRIORITIZE.  Okay, you let your mind run wild as your brainstormed.  Now it's time to prioritize what matters to you most on your potential resolution list.  Is any item that is essential to making 2014 a successful year for you?  Is there something on the list that has a pending deadline?  Yeah, those resolutions should probably get your highest priority.
4. EDIT.  Since you have determined what matters most to you, it's time to edit your resolutions list.  If your list is too long, it could be hard to stay focused. Ask yourself how many resolutions are feasible for you to tackle in one year.  Two?  Four?  Also ask yourself if your goals are specific enough.  Like my friend, you want to set goals that can be measured.  Instead of "going to the gym more," consider how many times per week you want to go to the gym.  You can't know if you reached a goal if you never specified a benchmark of success.
5. FORM A SUPPORT TEAM.  If you slip in reaching your goals, who will hold you accountable?  If you said yourself, that is not enough.  Share your resolutions with people that will keep tabs on your progress throughout the year.  You do the same for them if they ask.  Resolutions are so much easier to keep when you have a support team at your back.

Remember:  Dreams are so much easier to reach when you develop plans and strategies to break them down into concrete tasks.  Whatever your resolutions, best of luck in committing to them!